Hanging in there (figuratively speaking)
Nothing really new to report. The last two weeks I received two fills of 50ccs each. I’m now at 450 ccs and can see the finish line. I’m noticing now that one side appears to be a little higher than the other. I realize that’s to be expected. I mean, picture filling two balloons up with toothpaste just a little bit at a time…they aren’t going to fill up in the same way. I know that once I’m done with expansion they’ll be even, but right now every time I look in the mirror it’s all I see. This week my right side has started hurting my arm pit. Basically, the expander is cutting into my side and making my arm pit look weird. Luckily, not many people would ever even notice that, but it makes shaving difficult. It’s caused a little bit of mobility issues in my right arm too. So all this means is…I’m still a little gimpy.
I laid out by the pool last Sunday for 7 or so hours. I now have freakish tan lines and was so worried my doctor was going to lecture me about it. He just laughed, compared my tan to his and told me to not to get so tan that I start looking like I rolled in Doritos. Whew! I hate the ‘no sun’ lecture. I have to think that he was just so glad to see me smiling and feeling better that he decided to pick his battles. I’m not complaining about that at all. He’s backed off on the “make sure you’re not…” conversations with me, and I can’t tell if it’s a sign that he sees that I’m feeling better OR he’s just decided to go easy on me because he knows it’s been tougher than I had expected. I’m just glad restrictions are decreasing and not increasing.
I’m really thankful that the pain has been tolerable lately too. Last Tuesday was the anniversary of my brother’s death and would have been his 30th birthday. I actually had a really nice day. I had a lot of people share great memories of him with me. My mom sent me all kinds of great pictures of us as kids. My pain was tolerable after the fill the day before. I am glad that pain wasn’t as harsh as it has been so that I wasn’t emotionally drained by the time Jake’s day rolled around. Extreme pain coupled with a sad day would have been hard to handle. This process is just as much mental and emotional as it is physical. Thankfully, I made it through the day pretty well.
Now I’m just coasting through until next week when I get my next fill. I’m on a mini vacation this week from expansion since I’m in Arkansas. I think I have 4-6 more fills left this summer. This next fill on the 9th might be the one that finally pushes my incision out enough so that any creases or folds in the skin are stretched flat. I thinkthe shape is starting to look better even if one is a little higher than the other. I’m already seeing the finish line though and day dreaming about my next surgery. Sooooooo ready. Until then, I’m just hanging in there and waiting to see what the next fill will feel like.